3 Pillars Of Self-Sabotage & The Spy Who Avoids Them…

Ian Fleming’s character James Bond 007 has been escaping villainous lairs, femme fatales, outlandish vehicular chases & a wide array of saboteurs for over 6 decades in film.

To accomplish these improbable feats he enlists the help of fellow M16 agents (The fictional British Secret Service Organization that employ 007.), Bond girls, outrageous gadgets created by Q Branch — R&D Department — of M16, extraordinary weapons and a host of other situational tools & techniques.

Bond’s penchant for form, function & utility have allowed him to succeed on the grandest stage. Using all the aforementioned resources to outwit villains with flair & creativity. His creative techniques coupled with a high level of discipline allow him to avoid self-sabotage, which “above all else” insures his victory before the final act in all of the films.

Making Bond the quintessential Swiss Army knife protagonist — equipped with a solution for every obstacle manufactured to antagonize.

That said, mere mortals will never be able to perform on a “Bond Level” — all of the time, but we can mirror his ability to avoid self-sabotage!

When I think about Bond’s uncanny ability to avoid Self-Sabotage multiple characteristics of his personality stand out: These traits allow him to disrupt or topple the 3 Pillars of Self-Sabotage flawlessly.

In a data-driven, highly interactive landscape where we are bombarded with messaging, emails, social media, advertising, etc. — it is easy to lose control of our info intake. Consequently, becoming overwhelmed by data that doesn’t feed our ambition, akin to how junk food impacts our actual diet.

Bond’s Way

One of the quickest was to drive yourself crazy is to look for equity when examining adversity. This time trap will steer you off course, make you envious of others outcomes & in the worst case scenario provoke you to waste time attempting to bring about [what you perceive to be] the “fair” amount of adversity for third parties.

“The Grass is Alway’s Greener On The Other Side.”

Bond’s Way

Everyone has an agenda. Some agendas align with ours but most don’t. Knowing this often leads us to make predictions about what will happen next (I.e. Forecasting Revenue) which tend to help generate positive results. Nonetheless, this also leads us to attack others we assume intend to slight us or threaten our prespective based off of our cognitive bias & self-fufilling assumptions:

Bond’s Way

Call To Action

Identify areas of opportunity in your personal & professional life where you have self-sabotaged. Next, apply the techniques mentioned above to minimize the negative impact of fallacy rich self-sabotaging behavior.

Unlock the Power of Personal Accountability Questions

Close your eyes & imagine yourself in front of your next target:

Pull with all of your strength, breath from the diaphragm and aim with respect to the wind. If patience is in your repertoire — when the moment is right — you just may hit your target.

The question then becomes were you aiming in the right direction?

This is one of the most important questions that too many refuse to ask themselves.

A premise at the crux of the QBQ method — question behind the question — which aims to determine how one person can contribute more towards the bottom line. By moving away from “surface level” concerns and towards more substantive inquiries, which more accurately reflect ones true feelings &/or aspirations.


Surface Level Questions Vs. Aspirational Questions

Most of us have never been an archer, but many of us have played a game of darts.

Think back to how you prepared for a match.

Did you follow the steps mentioned in the paragraph above or some scaled down variation?

Now imagine if the goal was to hit a target on the other side of the dart board or more practically on the other side of a veil — how would you precede?

If you’re like most people, you would find the request confusing… Then ask yourself something akin to the following:

  • Why would I want to hit a target beyond my aim?
  • Why are you asking me to change?
  • Why would I want to change my approach?
  • Why didn’t you tell me this before?
  • Why would you ask me to do something uncomfortable?

“Change is generally uncomfortable, but often necessary to maximize performance.” — Donte’ A. Bundrent

Q.B.Q. Method

The QBQ method is premised on the observation that our first reactions are often negative reminding us of the incorrect question (iQ). Thus, the one guiding principle of the QBQ is that “the answers are the questions.”

The QBQ method compels us to focus on a particular type of question that forces us to think in a different way.

Shifting ones approach from the pursuit of answers, and towards the habit of questioning preexisting answers and identifying opportunities to take responsibility for future outcomes. A shift towards personal accountability in respect to our lives and organizations.

Apply this approach to your personal / professional life and you will quickly find that you are leaving opportunity for improvement on the table or better yet, underneath the table.

Opportunities that will demand action. Realized by asking yourself personal accountability questions, which illuminate our true targets behind the veil. Targets that in the past would have remained hidden — out of sight and out of mind, like the backside of a dart board.

Finding QBQ answers is the process of peeling back the onion.

With the removal of each layer you will gain a deeper insight into your pain points and goals. With the end result being an escape from victimization, procrastination, and counterproductive blame games.


“Lead from the front and identify pain points.”

The man or woman, who is willing to go towards the problems, is the leader who is capable of navigating the team through the worst storms.

These leaders take responsibility for performance outcomes. By making better decisions and being accountable for improvements while questioning past methodology.

Peel & Shot

“Consistency is way more important than intensity,” — SimonSinek

The perfect shot still has room for improvement. As we continue to hone our craft and ask ourselves probing questions we position ourselves for unfettered growth. The process of digging deeper will expose the roots of our organization and allow us to fertilize our strategic process, and in turn establish new work flows while avoiding potential pitfalls. Removing the mask or veil surrounding our areas of opportunity.

In short, QBQ is a fundamentally straight forward process of asking ourselves “why” & “how” questions until we reach the core issue:

Why or Why Not? How or How To?


Key Takeaways

  • It takes time to reach our core issues, our onions have many layers, some which we have grown over like the rings in a tree trunk, but in the end, if we take action — we will unlock our true potential.
  • Personal Accountability is something you can start working towards today.

Questioning our answers can be tough. Especially when we have grown accustom to a given shortcut or heuristic.

@DarimusBe Aboutit.co

Write Your Own Playbook

I was at a party, “frat boy wasted” you could say… Flirting with a pretty smile in a pencil skirt 💃 while pouring a drink for a wavy haired girl 🧜🏼‍♀️ at the same time.

Man, the room was spinning & your boy was trying his best to keep up with it’s dance.”

(But & there is always a “but.”)

My body wasn’t responding to the rigors of the nightlife like it used too: I had gained a little comfort weight or let’s be honest a lot of fat! Brought about in large part while wrestling with the stress of a high pressure job.

The stress was winning!

Combined with the daunting task of being a leader, trainer, & friend I managed to look satisfied & successful on the outside… While on the inside I was struggling.

My Body needed a Fix Fast in more ways than One.

Fast forward a few days after the aforementioned night when by my normal measure –multiple phone numbers, most ladies enjoyed themselves & no fights — things were great.

The reality of my roller coaster lifestyle was approaching a tipping point internally. My recovery was slower, my energy level had decreased but I still felt confident until…

The moment when my reality check kicked in:

 

 

I step out of the shower “thinking” I’m my 21 year old self: The invincibleversion. Still riding the high of a string of eventful days when I do something out of the ordinary…

I take a long look at myself in the mirror. Here is a list of some of the key things I saw:

  • A JollyBelly (I like to laugh 😂 but I’m not jolly!😤)
  • A WeatheredAppearance (It’s like the Youth & Vitality of my face was being stripped away prematurely.)
  • Stress (I had always prided myself on being cool, calm & collected but at this stage — boy was I wrong!)

Life had always been a battlefield but at this moment I realized I maybe losing. For one like myself who had a long list of victories which dated back to childhood…

My perspective had changed in an instance and for the 1st time my confidence was diminished. This all happened in an instance — once I finally took a longlook at myself in the mirror.

What do you do when you are mentally, meta-physically, & physically drained?

In my case, it served as a smack in the face! It felt like life was trying to Beetle Bailey me…

But I wasn’t going out without a fight…. I was going to take a stand. Making money wasn’t enough. I knew I wouldn’t be satisfied until I mastered my destiny & reclaimed the helm of my ship!

To accomplish this, I decided it was time to RewriteMyPlaybook. By challenging myself to make the leap from good to great.

Personal Life 180

I started prioritizing mental & physical health as a part of my pursuit of prosperity & wellness.

This change required me to address the constant fatigue, pre-hypertensive blood pressure, weight induced sleep apnea, high cholesterol & (mostimportantly) for me to reforge my once bulletproof confidence.

“Somebody said it couldn’t be done but he with a chuckled reply, said maybe it couldn’t but he would be one that wouldn’t say so til he tried.”

I tried. I succeeded. I’ll save the details for another post.

(They include a lot of honesty, introspection, a little addition by subtraction, patience, humility, a lot of hard workouts & a few well earned victories!)


Key Takeaway

 

The monkey slowly climbs on your back — but we usually feel it’s weight in an instance.” — Donte’ A. Bundrent

Don’tSleep! The time is now: The time for you to be the GOAT.

I’ve Got 99 Reasons Why Your Problems Don’t Matter

99 Reasons Why Your Problem's Don't Matter
99 Reasons Why

When I learned how to manage my emotions, I started to master my circumstance — opposed to letting the ebb and flow of my life control me. My life didn’t get any easier, but the excuses were dismissed, leaving only me to take responsibility for my peaks and valleys.

In a sense, it was like I was entering the real world for the first time: acknowledging the full weight of the decision making process without the luxury of accomplices, team mates or “fall guys” to take/share the blame. I had to be fully accountable for my actions.

“Wanting success is not enough, you have to work for it.”

I noticed a shift in how I was responding to adversity. Instead of making a list of reasons why some other person, place, or thing had caused a problem; I was owning the issues and sharing in the successes.

In short, the problems didn’t matter anymore — I had shifted my focus to finding solutions and becoming a better problem solver.

Here are 99 reasons why I suggest you make the shift too:

  1. Everyone has problems, but only a limited amount of people find solutions.
  2. I have yet to encounter a person who hasn’t experienced hardship — period.
  3. The sooner you overcome an obstacle, the sooner you get back to doing the things you enjoy.
  4. Life is unpredictable.
  5. Stress doesn’t have any positive side effects.
  6. If you look hard enough or long enough — you can always find a person worse off than you.
  7. You survived the last crisis.
  8. Problems are a teachable moment.
  9. At the end of the day, the blame game doesn’t accomplish much.
  10. Nothing new under the sun: you are facing a challenge, which others have conquered

12. No one ever said it was going to be easy.

13. If you ignore an issue you are sure to find more that follow.

14. Time is precious.

15. Your goals deserve your attention.

16. You will thank yourself later.

17. Overcoming obstacles builds character.

18. Problem Solvers are rewarded.

19. Short supply of problem solvers: High demand for problem solving.

20. You will feel a sense of accomplishment when you solve a problem.

21. Focusing on your problems will make you bitter.

23. The grass is greener on the other side.

24. Focusing on solutions will make you better.

25. The road to tomorrow is paved with obstacles.

26. You can complain, but 99% of people don’t care.

27. Problems were created for a solution.

28. Tough times don’t last.

29. When you envisioned your future — problems didn’t matter.

30. Somebody said you couldn’t do it.

31. Don’t let them win.

32. Don’t allow yourself to lose.

34. Problems have an expiration date.

35. Life is a game: play to win.

36. You will be remembered by how you responded to adversity and controversy.

37. You are living a dream until you find something that challenges your reality.

38. Winners embrace the challenge of overcoming defeat.

39. Your biggest challenge in a race is yourself.

40. You have to make a choice — fight or flight.

41. The harder life pushes, the harder you will be required to push back.

42. Your problems goal is to take your attention away from your goals.

43. It is a good day to do better.

45. To get better every day you will have to overcome obstacles.

46. There will always be haters — give them something to hate.

47. Your success is the best revenge.

48. Nobody’s perfect: keep moving forward.

49. Leaders are forged during times of controversy.

50. Tests are designed to be passed.

51. You can’t win, if you quit.

52. Your plan doesn’t have a pause button.

53. You can never surrender to the problems, while you are fighting for your dreams.

54. Every great work of art required revisions.

56. While preparing for tomorrow’s challenge you are forced to overcome today’s problem.

57. The thrill of victory is the greatest form of inspiration.

58. Success is measured by the obstacles that you overcome.

59. Wanting success is not enough, you must work for it.

60. No matter how deep the hole — champions find a way to bounce back.

61. Obstacles challenge the brave to improve performance.

62. To succeed you will have to win in spite of adversity.

63. To accomplish anything worth remembering, you will have to overcome adversity.

64. The world is watching.

65. This may be your only opportunity to address the problem.

67. The world breaks everyone, but only a few take the time to complete repairs.

68. You can only unlock your full potential by overcoming adversity.

69. The next step should be better than your current mess.

70. If it hasn’t killed you: You can turn it into a stepping stone.

71. Enduring problems is the price paid for progress.

72. What doesn’t break you — makes you.

73. You are stronger than a tough problem.

74. A single step back can start a free fall.

75. If you can endure: you can succeed.

76. Great works are completed in spite of setbacks.

78. When you look for solutions you get better at identifying problems.

79. Tough people persevere in spite of problems.

80. You have to endure to succeed.

81. Survival requires adaptation.

82. Success is not easy.

83. You will never forgive yourself if you give up.

84. If you want to reach your potential you will have to persevere.

85. Remember why you started.

86. Someone is being inspired by your struggle.

87. Every good plan requires revision.

89. Adversity is as natural as success.

90. Your response to adversity is a measure of your strength.

91. Change is going to come: it is up to you to determine who is in the driver’s seat.

92. Problems arise — problem solvers go for it.

93. The hand you’re dealt or the hand you worked for? You decide.

94. An optimist see’s an opportunity in every problem.

95. The road to success is filled with problems.

96. The capacity to overcome obstacles is at the foundation of leadership.

97. Every great leader possesses the courage to own up to and overcome mistakes.

98. Practical progress requires vision and initiative in the face of adversity.

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